


Archive Shenanigans

by morning_softness



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Pre-Canon, Rating is for casual discussion of a character’s ‘sexiness’, The Magnus Archives (Podcast) as a Workplace Comedy, The Magnus Archives Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27863137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morning_softness/pseuds/morning_softness
Summary: All the assistants are the hot assistant, or Tim says Hot Martin Rights and Hot Sasha Rights and even Hot Jon Rights.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	Archive Shenanigans

“Sasha, Sasha,” Tim calls, nearly tripping over himself as he tumbles into the break room, a wider than usual grin stretched across his face, “you won’t believe who Elias transferred in from the library to work with us!”

Sasha pauses her search through the cabinets for a box of tea that isn’t years out of date— _had Gertrude never used the break room, or had she just taken all the good tea with her when she left?_ —long enough to try to process what Tim had said. “So Elias brought in another assistant without telling us? Jon’s going to be upset when he finds out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tim’s smile falters for a moment before he waves away her concern. “He’s already upset Elias made a molehill out of a mountain when he told us that Gertrude had left the archives in a state of ‘slight disorder.’” He makes air-quotes as he says the words in an exaggerated imitation of Elias’s voice that makes Sasha giggle. “That’s not the important part. What matters is we now have a _sexy librarian_ on our team, who, I might add, is incredibly hot.”

Sasha frowns. “Look, Tim, not to cast aspersions on your taste, but you’ve also described Jon to me as ‘very hot’ before, so forgive me if I need a few more details on this ‘hot librarian’ before I make up my own mind.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Tim argues, “Jon is absolutely hot: those sharp cheekbones, that dark hair streaked with silver, those _eyes_ —”

Sasha laughs, cutting him off. “I know, Tim, I _know_ , you’ve told me at least twelve times. Now, let’s go check out this new putatively hot assistant.”

The new assistant has his back turned to them, bent over to arrange his personal items in the desk he’s staked out, and in the process giving them a nice view of his trouser-clad rear. He actually has one, which is already a point in his favor in Sasha’s book, especially compared to Jon.

“Oh, hello,” he says, straightening quickly as he notices their approach and raising a hand in greeting. “I’m Martin. Ah, Mr. Bouchard said I’d, ah, be working with you. I, um, I originally worked in the library, so I’m sure we’ve seen each other a few times, although, heh, I guess this is our first time meeting officially.”

“Sasha James,” Sasha says by way of self-introduction as her gaze rakes over him, taking him in.

He’s tall—taller than Tim even—and broad, with wide shoulders and hips and a round, freckled face framed by soft messy curls. His eyes are bright and warm behind his large glasses— _gold cat eye frames, really?_ —and his lips are soft and full, although the way he’s worrying his bottom lip between his teeth screams ‘anxiety’ more than ‘sex appeal.’ He’s wearing an enormous knitted jumper, which—she realizes as he smooths the front down nervously over his middle—while a bit loose-fitting, isn’t nearly as baggy and oversized as she’d assumed at first glance. She has to fight to keep her jaw from dropping as she sees just how much of it he fills out.

“It’s good to meet you Martin,” Sasha says warmly, stubbornly trying to maintain her professionalism while Tim bounces around in the background like an overexcited puppy. “We’re glad to have you on the team.”

Martin’s large hand closes around hers in a handshake, his grip warm and surprisingly firm despite the nervous smile wreathing his face. He’s practically glowing as he stutters out an effusive speech about how happy he is to be joining the the archives crew, how glad he is to have such friendly and welcoming coworkers, and how excited he is for the work they’ll be doing. It’s heartwarming, and it soothes just a tiny bit of the disillusionment Sasha’s been feeling with the whole archives situation.

He is, Sasha admits to herself as Martin finally releases her hand and goes back to sorting out his desk, fairly good-looking. He’s also Jon’s physical opposite in every way, which completely throws off her former estimations of what might constitute Tim’s ‘type’.

“Timothy Stoker!” Sasha hisses, eyes flashing with amusement as she pulls him back into the break room by his elbow. “First Jon and now this librarian. Don’t tell me you have a size contrast kink! Do you only go for people who are substantially smaller or larger than you?”

“That has nothing to do with it!” Tim insists hotly. “People of all sizes and body types can be attractive! Besides, you know how gorgeous I think you are, and—barring the gender differential—we’re close to the same build and height.”

“Hmm, that’s true.” Sasha’s eyes twinkle playfully even as she rubs her chin, pretending to be giving the matter serious thought. “Wait,” Sasha says, snapping her fingers in mock-realization, “I know what it is! First Jon with his sweater vests, then me with my cardigans, and now our new ex-library assistant with his jumpers” she ticks them off on her fingers as she lists them, “Admit it, you just have a knitwear fetish, don’t you?”

Tim laughs. “You’ve got me!” He exclaims. “In winter I have to take a taxi to work because my heart can’t handle the overwhelming sexiness of everyone wearing hats, scarves, and mittens on the Tube.”

Sasha snorts. “Just wait until I come in tomorrow in my knit dress,” she threatens, grinning. “I’ll have you absolutely swooning from my attractiveness.”

Tim doubles over with laughter. “Seriously, though,” he says when he finally straightens, wiping moisture from the corners of his eyes, “the new assistant: hot or not? What’s your verdict?”

“He’s a teddy bear,” Sasha says, “he’s adorable. It’s so _sweet_ how excited he is to be here.”

“ _Sasha_ ,” Tim gives her a look that says he knows she’s holding out on him and he’s not amused.

Sasha laughs. “Fine, fine,” she says, patting his arm, “The new assistant is in fact very hot, and you should watch out or I’ll steal him away from you before you can make your move.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Tim exclaims, half-serious even as he clutches his chest in mock-horror.

“I guess you’ll just have to see~”. Sasha sticks her tongue out at him as she ducks back out through the break room door into the office.

“You never know! He could be gay!” Tim calls after her.

“Only one way to find out!” Her voice echoes teasingly back as he hurries to follow her.

Back in the office and completely unaware of the break room shenanigans, Martin hums to himself as he surveys his finished desk arrangements with a sense of satisfaction. He hasn’t met his new boss yet, but his fellow assistants seem nice. He has a feeling he’s going to like working in the archives


End file.
